This is the fourth article in a series about adultery.
Hello Friday…Hello Friday Morning… Hello Friday Evening…Hey y’all its Friday. And, it’s a wonderful Friday, it is. As you know, Fridays are the start of my kick back weekends (ok if you believe my weekends are totally kick back then you don’t have kids). But anyway, the beginning of my kick back weekends begins today! Yea! As I reflect on the weekend that has happened, I look at all of the things that I have done and the people I have met. I am pretty satisfied with the things that I have accomplished and the way I have presented myself with the people I have interacted.
But, that gets me to thinking. Is God satisfied with the way I acted and the things I have done?
See, I serve God totally, completely, every minute of every day. This makes it important to me to make sure that I am doing the things in my life the way God wants me. Now, see here, just because I am totally in it for God to get the glory, this does not mean that I totally get it right. People make me mad so I therefore act unholy or ungodly to them. And, when God calls me out on that I ask for forgiveness and repent. Then there is something else that I did not do according to God’s standards.
Of course, the process repeats itself. But know this, I am not afraid of the process because God says in His word that I will fail but He will love me anyway. And, that I am forever His. I carry these truths with me wherever I go. But, where did I go this last week? WHERE DID I GO THIS WEEK? Ok, that is in capital letters because I don’t mean go as in went as in physical places. But, I mean go as in what entered my spirit – became a part of who I am today. Many people interact with people and don’t evaluate the experience they have had. Does God approve the interaction with that person?
Did you know that adulterous, sexual, love affairs begin because people ignore this innate truth – God is interested in where we went? Ok, let me break this down. A meet me at the Ritz affair does not begin at the Ritz. I love the movie “Regarding Henry.” People were giving him ritz crackers after his shooting. But, he was talking about his meeting place with his lover. Ok, I digress let’s back up. Affairs have three stages. The first stage is the conversation stage. The conversation stage is when you are just talking to someone. “Hi, how are you doing?” “Is Janney in the office?” “Did you finish that project?”
There is nothing wrong with conversing with people, even of the opposite sex. BUT, there is a problem when you begin to have intimate discussions with this person. Intimate discussion includes things that reveal who you are, what you are really thinking deep down inside, where you want to go with your future, how your marriage really works. Those discussions are best between a husband and wife. No one should know you intimately but your spouse. Save yourself from the next stage, keep those discussions for your spouse.
The next stage is the friendship stage. Once you start giving up intimate information about yourself, now you have established that person as a friend. A friend becomes emotionally wrapped in you life. Sometimes you don’t realize that you have jumped from the conversation to the friendship stage. BUT, you know you have when you are inviting the person to lunch. You want to experience things like the movies, amusement parks, walks on the boardwalk with this person. You begin to seek out this person for conversation or good company. You genuinely like this person.
Now, if you have fallen into this stage, don’t be alarmed. BUT, stop it now. Back-pedal, it’s ok to back-pedal. Cut this person from your spirit. Yea, I do mean your spirit. See the friendship stage is when the person becomes an imprint onto your spirit. You are thinking about this person waaaay too much. So, cut it clean now – start being unavailable for lunch. Stop looking for that person to have a conversation. Stop constantly thinking about that person. Give that person over to God and stay far away. And, yes, if you must do it cruelly, then so be it. Nothing is more important than honoring God by honoring your spouse.
Now, the final stage is the sexual stage. This is the one everyone associates with adultery. This is two people rolling around in the sheets stage. This is the big one. The having sex with someone other than my spouse stage. I will not talk about what constitutes sex here. But, give me some leeway – it’s sex and all that sex encompasses is what I mean. So, sex is the final stage. The sexual stage can not be reached without proceeding through the other two stages. An affair has an arch. The arch includes the conversation, friendship, and sexual stages. When one who looks at the beginning of the sexual part of their affair, they will notice that they cleared the hurdles of the first two stages. If you happen to find yourself in this stage, get out now!!! Find a good Christian marriage counselor and let God heal your marriage. He can and He wants to do it for your and especially for His reputation. Enough said there. So, it’s time for me to reflect. Did I please you Lord this week? Did I entangle my spirit? And, please forgive me for and save me from where I did. Now, of course it is time for me to try these stages out on my spouse. Here I come honey. And, all I have to say to that is “THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!”