Dear Daughters & YBW:
I trust that you are doing well today. I hope that you are growing in the Lord and living a victorious life. Today, I want to write to you about domestic violence and how you can avoid it.
Men are definitely at fault in most cases of domestic violence. As we learned in elementary school, boys should not hit girls–a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances. But contrary to popular belief, women are oftentimes at fault by provoking the man. Some women provoke a negative response from their husbands inadvertently, because they do not know how to deal with a man probably because they never had a father in the home to teach them or they never had a mother, older sister or older woman to teach them how to handle a man. However, some women intentionally provoke their husbands by pushing buttons that they know will cause a negative reaction.

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Dear sister, never think that domestic violence is a normal way of life, and it should not occur in any relationship, especially in a Christian family relationship. Here are some things that you can do, as a young woman, to make sure that you do not end up in a relationship like this. I am going to deal with this issue from two standpoints: (1) Do not marry a man who is prone to violence in the first place, and (2) If God blesses you with a good man, here are some things you should do, and should not do, so as not to provoke him to negative behaviour. So, please listen carefully and take heed to the following:
  1. Do not marry a man who does not have a decent, loving relationship with his own mother. It has been said that the way a man treats and responds to his mother, is the way he will treat and respond to his wife. On the other hand, do not marry a man who is too close to his mother, because that can be another problem. He may become abusive because he’s a mama’s boy and he will try to defend his mother in many instances.
  2. Do not marry a man who is a dawg. As I said before a dawg is heartless and oftentimes he does not even have the capacity to treat you the way that you should be treated. No matter what you do for a dawggish man it won’t be enough, and he will not care anything about you. He will use you for sex and for his own gratification and then leave you.
  3. Do not marry a man who lets you have your way all of the time. If a man lets you have your way all of the time while you are dating, then once you get into that marriage, the man will try to be nice about the things that he really does not like, but on the inside the anger and frustration builds. Then, he gets to a point where he explodes, and violence breaks out. Please understand that minor disagreements and differences of opinion are normal between a man and a woman. Don’t be surprised if you have disagreements and differences. That is healthy because it gives him and you a way to vent and share things that you don’t like.
  4. Do not marry a man who does not have a life before you. In other words, if a man’s life starts the day he meets you or the day he marries you, then you are already on the fast track to trouble, because he is not living for something bigger than the two of you, and therefore, he does not have a cause to live for to take up some of his time besides you. You may think you want to be the center of a man’s attention, but you really don’t want that. Deep down, you really want a man who has God at the center of his attention and who is going somewhere.

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