via BCNN1:
When I was nineteen, I struggled with celibacy. But what I really did was abdicate responsibility for my celibacy. I would say, “This man could be my husband, so that would make it OK” or “Well, I’m not going to initiate sex, so if it happens it’s not because I made it happen.”
But I knew that I was putting the responsibility on the other person and not taking ownership of my commitment. It was hypocritical. Finally, I said, “This is not what the Lord has for me. I’m not going to go into another relationship trying to be celibate and then passively caving on the commitment.”
I had to make the commitment that sex was absolutely off the table. The crazy thing is that when I did that, God blessed me with somebody who was celibate before I was. It’s incredible how things can work out when we’re true to God and to ourselves
Even if your faith has weak moments (which we all have), the most effective way to be successful in your commitment to celibacy is to know your triggers. Avoid setting yourself up for failure. It’s not the act of sex that’s the problem, but the moments leading up to it.
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